[PART I: The Preparation] CHAPTER THREE
The soul is led, under the guidance of her confessor, to accept a love of crucifixion for the glory of God and the salvation of souls. she is thus prepared for the great events which will befall on her
The voice asks sufferings for the salvation of souls, but the soul has not the courage to give her consent.
–20-3-1965 The poor soul – In the evening at the chapel while doing the Way of the Cross: “Jesus is elevated on the cross”, the soul is suddenly submerged by the usual mysterious suffering. It is as if she was drawn outside of herself, so strongly that she is frightened and disoriented. My God, what’s happening in your poor creature? The voice, after a brief pause, says:
The Voice – Are you disposed to help me in saving souls by means of long-suffering?
The poor soul – Always the prey of a mysterious state which she cannot explain because it defeats the poor human understanding, and feeling too little and miserable, she can’t answer. Surely she is favourably disposed, but the “Yes, I’m ready” couldn’t come out yet!
–21-3-1965 The poor soul – The Lord happily arranges a pilgrimage to Loreto which gives her the chance to see her Confessor who knows her and to whom she reveals everything. He answers: “Say ‘Yes’ and say it with generosity, for there are so many souls consecrated to God in a special way who aren’t faithful and who, unhappily, will be lost eternally”.
–24-3-1965 The poor soul – The morning.
After Holy Mass, she feels so strongly attracted by the usual action, that she isolates herself and while she is lingering over the Divine Host she hears:
The Voice – How many souls are prey of Satan, the enemy of truth and goodness! Suffering alone can free them; remain near me, give me everything!
–29-4-1965 After Holy Communion the voice says:
The Voice – I have chosen you because you had to accept my crucifixion… You must then suffer every torture of the heart, and every physical pain, so that my designs may be accomplished. When this lies too heavy on you, lift up your eyes towards my transpierced Heart for the love of men and learn to conform generously to my feelings.
–2-5-1965 The poor soul, knowing that she shall have peace only through obedience, is forced to meet her Confessor to relate on what she has heard.
The poor soul – The morning. The situation is always very bitter.
–4-5-1965 The poor soul – “Today, finally it seemed that I could go to… but the circumstances have not allowed me to do so! So we shall go on until…”. And meanwhile the poor soul remains always in the same situation! Would Jesus be pleased that all this will happen, so my soul may understand better and better His divine will.
The poor soul – Morning. The situation is always very painful.
While the moment of Holy Communion is approaching, the poor soul tries to take courage, to have confidence in the Heart who is all love, kindness, mercy… when suddenly the voice interrupts her sorrowful cry and says:
The Voice – I told you, you will not have peace until you see my Minister and tell him what I have told you.
The poor soul – She meets her Confessor… Oh! how good is the Lord! Everything has come back to a normal state. Now I am in an atmosphere of serenity and calm, completely in the Lord, for I have done what I had to do. May He be always blessed.
–5-5-1965 Morning after Holy Communion.
The Voice – The full joy which overcomes you today, after the meeting with my Minister yesterday, is a demonstration that you are following the right path of my designs… The spirit of darkness doesn’t produce peace. Your beloved Lord alone can make you really happy.
The poor soul – 18:40.
Suddenly the soul is caught by an immense celestial joy, and for 10 minutes, she exclaims again and again: “O my God! My paradise! My unique and supreme goodness! My happiness! That’s enough!… My God, enough! It’s too much! Too much!”
While being submerged by the presence of the most Holy Trinity, she is advised by the voice to believe and not to offer any resistence.
The poor soul – Morning at church.
Suddenly, after the daily offering, the soul is attracted by the mysterious familiar power which she cannot resist, so she must go to her room. Once there she feels all absorbed by the presence of the most Holy trinity, at least it seems so to her, and being in a state she cannot explain, she cries out again and again: “O my God! O most Blessed Trinity! O Father! O my Creator! O Son, my Redeemer! O Holy Spirit, my Sanctifier! This soul is yours but she is too miserable. O Father by creative work… O Son, by your redemptive power, o Holy Spirit, by your santifying grace have pity on me! Yet, you can always do what you want”.
At the end of the meeting the voice says:
The Voice – I shall realise in you the marvels of my Love, providing you do not resist me.
–29-7-1965 Jesus begs love. What happens in the soul is incomprehensible to the human mind. She will be crucified by love.
The poor soul – At church in the morning. After Holy Communion while the soul presents her homage of love and atonement, but mostly when she tries to plunge herself into the most Holy Trinity, slowly and softly the voice tells her:
The Voice – Give me your love… give it to me totally, I need it. So many men drive me away from their heart.
The poor soul – The soul is forced to go to her room because she cannot resist this powerful impulse. For 10 minutes she lingers over the divine Host. The expression “to linger over” doesn’t express the true significance of what is happening between the soul and her Lord, being her completely plunged in Him and He totally in her! At the end of the exchange the voice speaks again:
The Voice – The human intellect cannot understand what is happening at this moment in your soul… Nevertheless, since you’re all mine, I shall accomplish what I have decided in my mysterious decrees.
–30-7-1965 The poor soul – From 21:30 to 23:00.
A time of great pains. At a certain moment the voice says:
The Voice – If you always follow me and do not resist me it will be my love who will crucify you… But so that you may support this tender and terrible action, I shall feed you with the very sweet honey which will spring from my Heart. And you will walk beside me always sustained by my directions. And now, tell me, don’t you want anything from me?
The poor soul – “My Lord Jesus Christ, tender love of my soul… Make it that I can lower myself more in my nothingness and know always better my weaknesses and miseries, so that I can detest and amend them. Amen!”
The salvation of souls is in long-suffering, the joy of the Heart of Jesus and the triumph of his Love is in the salvation of souls.
–24-8-1965 The poor soul – 1 o’clock in the afternoon.
The soul is completely caught: “My Lord Jesus what pains submerge me! I do not know where to turn my eyes for relief!”
The Voice – This is the way I treat my spouses… those who believed in my Love and have yielded to my heart with confidence, so that I may dispose of them according to my good pleasure for the glory of my Father.
So, keep in memory that this is my way of acting with my priviledged ones. In suffering is the salvation of souls and in this salvation is the joy of my Heart and the triumph of my Love.
Therefore how could you believe yourself to be my beloved if in your heart doesn’t burn that flame which consumes mine? Haven’t I told you, many times indeed, that my Love will crucify you? Yes, my love for you and for the souls. Oh! if you only understood what a terrible passion torments steadily my Heart! The dire loss of many of my sons for whom I have shed my Blood!
You see the necessity of having the same feelings as me… of seeking but my interests… and of living in every thing and always only for me.
The poor soul – “O my Lord and my God, what a terrifying and incomprehensible language! Happy is he who understands it! I feel so small and miserable. Yet, if it is stated in your mysterious decrees that I should attain, to this heights as well, then, here am I, faithful in your arms. Make of me what pleases you! Amen”.
–9-10-1965 The poor soul feels much reluctance to believe and obey the voice. But she is chided and menaced.
The poor soul – What a terrible trial! My soul is not able to believe in itself and to submit to what she heard from the voice last night. It will be impossible, I assume! What then will become of me, of my future? Ah! I don’t know if I can go to…
The Voice – Why do you offer such a resistance to the directions of my Love? It is certainly not the way to answer the divine tenderness of my Heart by which I have overwhelmed, charmed and submerged you… Haven’t I told you before, in other circumstances, that the road you are following is mysterious and so it is necessary for you to yield unreservedly, with humble and full submission, to the Divine Will? Works of my love aren’t measured by time neither by human understanding, but by giving full way to the loving action of your Lord Jesus.
The poor soul – “Ah! my adorable Saviour! The doubts I have are not about you but about myself. I always fear being duped by my imagination, this is what makes me fear terribly and suffer. However I accept everything quite willingly as something which the poor creature that I am deserves”.
The Voice – Listen to me now. A terrifying suffering shall accompany you as long as you don’t do what I asked you already many times, and this also to tell you how much my Love is eager of giving himself to you.